So I’m home from uni for the next week - mainly so I’m away from halls & friends :( but any form of distraction and I can buckle down and start PROPER revision for my exam on 14th June.
I had a 5 hour train journey to get home, but as soon as I arrived I dragged my little sister out on a run with me! I don’t run. I’ve always wanted to be a runner, but I never ever go for a run.
I bought fancy running trainers 2 months ago but then pneumonia struck and my fitness plans to get fit over Easter went spiralling downhill and anything to do with exercise went straight out of the window.
Anyway - I RAN FOR ALMOST 40 MINUTES WITHOUT STOPPING TONIGHT! Wazzaaaaaahhhh! I am so proud of myself you literally have NO idea! I thought I’d be able to manage 5 minutes absolute maximum without almost collapsing, but I just kept pushing through.
Running with my sister (she’s 16) was such a motivation as well, she’s so skinny but pretty unfit, and kept saying “please can we walk for a bit!” but I just said no and we kept going.
Amazing. I can now go running with my friends at uni (I’ve always said no even though I want to so so so badly because I thought my fitness levels would be awful). I guess cycling everywhere has improved my fitness vastly - I remember when I tried C25K this time last year I could manage about 3 minutes of jogging before having to walk (appalling I know).
Yaaaaaaayyyy - the endorphins are amazing - I am literally buzzing and I finished my run over 2 hours ago.
Finally welcomed exercise back into my life!! I AM SO HAPPY.
Best thing about this whole weight loss ‘journey’ is I absolutely adore fruit.
Most people do, but for me this is such a bizarre thing - I used to hate fruit (why, why?!) especially apples.
NOW?! I can’t get enough of them. Especially apples! Best thing ever, genuinely so much nicer than a chocolate bar or something like that.
WAHOO
Day 5 of no slip ups is almost complete - BACK IN THE GAME.
I’ve now lost 9 pounds in the past month which I’m pretty chuffed with, I’m becoming more comfortable with my body too which is handy seeing as IT’S SO HOT AT THE MOMENT IT’S UNBEARABLE.
I’ve been gallivanting around uni all day in denim shorts and a t-shirt and not felt like too much of a whale which is a nice feeling.
Going to Portsmouth this weekend to stay with one of my friends which will be so much fun, and then going home for a week (to revise revise revise!) which will be lovely. I need to absolutely smash the exam I’ve got coming up in June, so a week away from uni (especially as all the non-medics will have finished exams so will be going mental so I need to be away from distractions for a bit.
Things are getting better.
This has probably been one of the most difficult weeks of my life. I’ve found out so many bad things, from academic to personal things going on at home. And I just need to cry! I need to cry so badly. But I can’t! I keep welling up, I’ve welled up at least 4 times today but then I just stop myself, it’s like I just can’t allow myself to cry.
That sounds so ridiculous being written out, but part of the reason I can’t cry is because I think subconsciously I’ll feel selfish and guilty for grieving as I feel like I have no right to be as upset as I am over this thing. But that’s bollocks. I have every right to grieve. I need to grieve to get this out of my system.
Life is so fucking unfair sometimes, it hurts the least deserving of people.
I just need to plough on though, I can’t give up with my uni work, I have amazing friends and an amazing family and although things are pretty shit at the moment, they will eventually get better. I just need to keep up with the healthy eating (which I’m doing) and exercise and keep going.
Things have been manic as per usual, found out on Thursday that I’ve failed quite a few of my easter exams (awkward) which means lots of resits come july.
I have never been more determined to do well and pass my exam in june and ABSOLUTELY ACE my resits though.
I did miss almost a month of uni last term due to my bike accident and had pneumonia over the easter holidays so it wasn’t like failure was completely out of the blue, I’m still pretty gutted though. This isn’t meant as a boast or to sound arrogant, but I’ve genuinely never failed any exams before in my life so it was a bit of a shock but at the end of the day they’re only exams!
I have my health, fucking AMAZING friends (without whom I would be a blubbering wreck, haven’t cried once and it’s all thanks to them being incredible) and an amazing family who I adore more than anything. I have so much to be happy about, and I know I’m capable of passing them now I’m better. I’ll be fine :)
I’ve come home for the weekend as it was my Grandpa’s 80th birthday, saw loads of my family who I haven’t seen for ages and ate loads of delicious food - honestly such a gorgeous day to spend with loved ones.
Ate chocolate cheesecake like it was nobody’s business and LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. I’ve lost almost all the weight I put on over Easter and everyone was so sweet today, especially my auntie who couldn’t get over how much weight I’ve lost.
Feeling happy, I know I still have a way to go with my weight but I only need to lose another stone and half (like 20 pounds or so) before I reckon I’ll be truly content. Everything else is good and I have so much to be grateful for.